*For the month of May, honoring Mental Health Awareness, the Center of Excellence for Integrated Care, a program of the Foundation for Health Leadership and Innovation, will host a series of blogs following the perspective of an individual who is found in the future but who was a child. We invite you to meet Alex, who will begin their journey at age 18 and over the month of May Alex will reflect on the benefits gained from living in a system with preventive mental health policies.
*When we hear from Alex this week, they will have graduated from their undergraduate studies and been living in a medium size city after finding a job in their field. Alex has been in a serious relationship over the last six months and writes this journal entry reflecting on that relationship.
“What an amazing few months it has been! Meeting Frankie has really been a dream come true. I had no idea I could feel this way about a person. The first few months were of course our honeymoon stage, not the “I do” kind of honeymoon, but the most romantic and on cloud 9 I have ever felt. I may as well have said I do! I knew to expect those kinds of feelings though when it started. Sam, my therapist, talked to me over the years when I met with her for my annual appointments. I met with Sam a few more times when I was in some of my first relationships just a few years ago and she taught me a lot about what a healthy relationship looked like. What stood out the most in our conversations was the importance of being treated with respect and having a balance of yourself and your own interests plus the relationship in your life. In other words, when I felt myself getting pulled into a relationship too deep, she would remind me to stay involved in the parts of my life that make me who I am as an individual. For example, keeping up with my school work, my hobbies, and spending time with my family and other friends are all part of who I am as an individual. It is easy to get sucked into that one relationship and have it sort of become your entire world, but I think after our annual, and sometimes more, meetings I finally understand. I think those talks really helped me be a better partner from the start with Frankie too.
My relationship with my parents also really was stronger because of those meetings with Sam. Not only have I seen my parents have a strong relationship with each other, but our relationship changed as I got older and somehow though they were not as involved in every decision I made, our relationship seemed to grow stronger. Sometimes my parents would come to my appointments with Sam. She helped us navigate our relational boundaries so that they learned to trust my decisions more, and I also learned to stay open to their feedback without feeling defensive. I think even this lesson in boundaries has helped my relationship with Frankie have a healthy balance.
I just continue to be amazed how those meetings with Sam over the years have really had a lasting impact in my life. Knowing what to expect in a healthy relationship before you get into a relationship at all has been super helpful. Who knows, maybe Frankie will be the one, but I know I stand a better shot at making sure this relationship is healthy and strong thanks to those conversations with Sam and my strong relationship with my parents.” – Signed Alex